Cool Quotes

• A closed mouth gathers no feet.

• A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

• A king's castle is his home.

• A penny saved is ridiculous.

• All that glitters has a high refractive index.

• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

• Anarchy is better than no government at all.

• Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.

• As you read the scroll, it vanishes...

• Automobile - A mechanical device that runs up hills and down people.

• Be moderate where pleasure is concerned, avoid fatigue.

• Of the choice of two evils, I pick the one I've never tried before.

• Brain -- the apparatus with which we think that we think.

• BATCH - A group, kinda like a herd.

• Computer hackers do it all night long.

• Computer modelers simulate it first.

• Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit.

• Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.

• Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.

• Courage is your greatest present need.

• CLEARASOL - Effective sunspot remover.

• Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

• Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.

• Do something unusual today. Accomplish work on the computer.

• Documentation is like sex: When it's good, it's fantastic, when it's bad...

• Don't force it, get a larger hammer.

• Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon.

• Drive defensively -- buy a tank.

• Earn cash in your spare time -- blackmail friends.

• Entropy isn't what it used to be.

• Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them use to reality.

• Familiarity breeds children.

• God didn't create the world in 7 days. He pulled an all-nighter on the 6th.

• Going the speed of light is bad for your age.

• GAY ABANDON - Homosexual repellent perfume.

• He who hesitates is sometimes saved.

• Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

• Help support helpless victims of computer error.

• Herblock's Law: if it is good, they will stop making it.

• History does not repeat itself, -- historians merely repeat each other.

• I'm defending her honor, which is more than she ever did.

• If you don't change your direction, you may end up where you were headed.

• If you're not part of the solution, be part of the problem!

• I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice.

• In the field of observation, chance favors only the prepared minds.

• It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

• It works better if you plug it in.

• It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

• Jury -- Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

• KODACLONE - duplicating film.

• Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

• Life is what happens to you while you are planning to do something else.

• Life's a bitch, then you die.

• Lynch's Law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

• Mediocrity thrives on standardization.

• MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.

• Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.

• NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

• Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.

• Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.

• QUARKBAR - the candy with flavour and charm.

• QUASIMOTO - 4 wheeled hard-top moped made in France.

• Reality's the only obstacle to happiness.

• Screw up your life, you've screwed everything else up.

• Silver's law: If Murphy's law can go wrong it will.

• Some grow with responsibility, others just swell.

• SQWERTY - Computer keyboard sized down for use by children.

• SYSTEM GOING DOWN AT 4:45 THIS AFTERNOON FOR DISK CRASHING.

• The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.

• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

• The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.

• The road to to success is always under construction.

• Those who can't write, write help files.

• To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.

• To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer.

• Today is the last day of your life so far.

• TRAPEZOID - A device for catching zoids.

• Wasting time is an important part of life.

• When all else fails, read the instructions.

• When in doubt, don't bother.

• When in doubt, ignore it.

• Xerox does it again and again and again and...

• XMODEM - A spot-marking transfer protocol.

• YTERM - A terminal program for queries.